Sometimes I wish I could disappear.

Monday, April 30, 2007

(continuation frm the last post)
*things dat happen for the past month dat i didnt update*

things got bad when my fren was interogated by pentagon... due to some personal issues... yea it was an ugly situation la... a lot tears n backstabbing involved... din really like it,nor did i get involve... but my fren should understand la...d mistake was in her part... but i try to say, i get ignored... so nw i dun gv a damn dy la... she cn do wtv she wants... i dun gv a shit bout it dy... i tried to tell...

then there was the advising session... which i get whenever tings involving him happens (referring to my last post) ... i was told many things...by the gang... i was really hurt to hear their point of view la... it was as if i was being cheated on... but i really dunno... is there a split personality in him?
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"he is using u" ... "he acts differently with u, dunt u think he is up to sumtin?" ... "so u r willing to lose ur frens for him" ... "i told u so" ... "i dun like the way he treats u, u r jus the doormat" ... "watz he trying to do this time, hasnt he done enough damage?" ... "think before u act" ... "admit it, u still hv feelings for him" ... "u will nv stop it, so watz the point of us talking anymore" ...
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yea...i got all dat(the above) ... i m fine la... i m used to it... i hv a lot thinking to do in my part la... i noe wat i m doing... i noe where this is goin... i might be wrong... i maybe really wrong... but i m willing to take the risk... will u be there wif me? we shall see...
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i shall not provide any explainations for my actions anymore... its no use... u al will nv listen, u al hv nv given me a chance to speak, u al wil nv gv me a chance to say, so watz the point of arguing rite?

then there is sakai guy... a.k.a lexy... i call him dat la... haha.. this person has been following me around trying to get me to admit dat i m emo-ing... he claims i m emo-ing 24/7... he has also created a post on me emo-ing... but actually he doesnt noe anyting... LOL... n jus to clear it up- I M NT EMO-ING... my face is expressionless, so dat doesnt mean i m emo-ing k...

oh yea!! the recent highlight>>> DIAGNOSTIK.... yup the exams r back!! revision n books n memorizing n understanding n calculating n headaches... there is like a whole huge load of f4 revision... n i m crakking my head in finding time to do sumting... god bless everyone...

oh yea...i think i m addicted to my fon... i m launching a "save my credit" project... yea which only enables me to msg my active 5 numbers... no others... then again-it doesnt seem to be wroking as i hv been msging a 019 num quite often lately...there goes my credit...

so i launched a new project "save the time" ....yea i shall only msg when i m nt doin anyting... i jus launched it, so i m wroking on it nw la... lets see hw it goes... hahaha... (honestly speaking, dat will sooo nt work on me) .... =) =) =) =)

remind me wat am i doing online updating my blog when i suppose to be reading my chemistry? SHIT!! i got to go read my chemistry!! cyaz...

~hotness

<3 2:09 PM;

wow...it has been more than a month since i updated... sumtimes i wonder y i hv a blog la? well, in the past one month so many things dat happened... had my bad times n d gud times...

in a simple way~

prefects camp...was darn fun, had a great time... enjoyed ourselves... i was laughing a lot la... wait... i always laugh a lot-so no diff.. hehe i like the sungai... yea the sungai really got the fun side out of every prefect there man... hahaha... it was fun la!

then our performance for prefect's gathering... yea d f5 performance... intially we had many problems la... with cooperation n participation, but finally everyting was settled and everyone was happy happy... had to practice for 2 months... n we were great!!

prefect's gathering... wasnt a big great thing as we expected... it was basicly quite a screw up la... kinda got the sbu name down... a lot of mistakes n things were done very unproffesionally la... but the VI's hakka performance made the day! darn cool mann!!! n plus everyone complimented the f5 performance! hahahah... it was worth the 2 months... ;)

the lawatan... i wanted to go... i kinda really wanted to go... but i din hv a fren to go with la... n since they did not hv enough ppl, i kinda suggested my frens la... but due to certain past school issues, both my frens got turned down from goin... so i din go aso la...

then...there was a time where i felt used by my good fren... i din feel important... i felt i was jus a doormat... jus sumone there... like i was jus temporary for the time being... "she will always be there la.."-kinda situation... he took me for granted... n i thought things were going the wrong way... so i decided to stop everyting...
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yea decided to stop the msgs, calls, etc... for that 1 week it was kinda obvious dat i was avoiding, then all things had to go wrong for me again when fate played a part... we ended up in various situations dat required us to interact which each other (camp-bus, group, situation) so dat weekend jus changed things back to square 1...

then, my best fren... she-hu i told everytin to... she-hu i shared everytin with... she-hu matters to me the most... had to get into a fight with me... yes i do agree we hv our differences, yes she does advice me, yes i did tell her my decisions... but i broke my promise to myself...n to her... but y cant she jus accept n leave it?
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ok...she is worried...n she is pissed wif me for being stupid when it comes to him... but i m sorry... i m nt losing 1 fren for another... i m not losing either of u... u both matter a lot to me... cant u two jus get along, n get to know each other? but i m sorry, i m sorry...nw we hv came to a conclusion-n i hope things would get better n bck to how it was...

this is only half the story...more to come dat happen in the month...(check the next post)

~hotness

<3 1:34 PM;